Shadow's Essays

"Words are loaded pistols."Jean Paul Sartre ~ "The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." Anais Nin

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Location: San Jose, Ca, United States

Monday, January 08, 2007

#56. "That Place"

Essays on a life of P.E.
Jan 8, 2007
by shadow

In one of my favorite and most comfortable chat groups, where as a newbie i found my voice, we still have new folks arriving and asking the questions that i myself asked- some of which i continue to contemplate.
Recently, someone asked what "that place" meant when referred to by a friend who is a long standing player.
For me, i knew *immediately* what that meant. But then i had to stop myself and consider the words i have read over the last 10 years of thousands of others on line. Those reading group insights have helped me see things in a lot of differing ways.

"That Place" might well be in itself a misnomer.

People are all different-- some differerences are so slight that we never notice them (breathing patterns), some are obvious but taken for granted (hair and skin color), and some are obvious ( severe physical handicapps, world viewpoints, anger management).

"That place" is one of those kinds of things.
Many- but not all- of the bottom folks get various highs through internal chemical changes when they play and "fly". Some more than others... some seem to fly higher and wilder, and often viewers might feel they are "faking" or "giving in to their indulgences" by using the excuse of play to ignore their inhibitions. Others find a quiet space of peace and complete rejuviantion. Others push their bodies and their minds and release their own emotional barriers.

"That place" for others can be one of abject service-- and can vary from such severe focus and connection on a partner that events happening around them are not just "ignored", but actually never noticed. For others, "that place" is more of an emotional safety area, one where cares and worries about things *not* BDSM related are left behind and their circle of consideration is that of only service and support.

"That place" for some Dominant types i know is one of huge ego freeing play- where they indulge in the dark things in their souls.
Sometimes, "that place" is their ongoing emotional satisfaction of control and being "king of their world" for themselves and / or their partners. "That place" can be one where they are worshipped sexually, emotionally, or even the satisfaction of a bootblacking from the chair (a class we are planning on holding this spring).
"That place" swings from emotional highs of endorphins out of control and pain tolerance that would otherwise kill a bull elephant to the quite servitude joy of a boy on his knees scrubbing an empty kitchen floor because that is his offering to his partner that day.

It is, most likely, at the very least, a change from the "normal" way we each feel, induced by our relationships or actions within the BDSM realm, fueled by our own endorphins, hormones, adrenal glans, and dopamines and seratonin levels, and increased or decreased by our own self esteem issues and feelings of security with ourselves and the people around us that we have given power to or taken power from.

i sometimes think that, if i am very lucky and my life continues as it has, "that place" will eventually be "this place".

Copyright Strong Eagle's shadow
January 8, 2007
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